


How Things Change

by SpaceDino



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Distasteful (and bad) jokes and puns, Fluff, Gay, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, I know, I'm new to this, Inumimis and Nekomimis, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mutual Pining, Pining, Please Forgive me, Smut, Swearing, also the description sucks, how do tags??, wow that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 05:35:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9420875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceDino/pseuds/SpaceDino
Summary: What's the biggest problem any teenager is likely to face in school? Falling for somebody? Nah, couldn't be, right?Wrong.Milo isn't a normal teenager - for one, he's gay, and he's lived in fear of his feelings and the source of those feelings since middle school.Amazing, though, how one night - one party - can change things as easily as it does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> OK, first things first: Disclaimers.
> 
> Just so you know, this is my first published work, and also first attempted smut. Please keep in mind when commenting. Constructive criticism is not only appreciated, but every comment and kind word will be loved and given a good home in the center of my heart, I promise.
> 
> Also, I don't have a beta, so any errors are my own. I did go over it several times, but if there is something wrong I apologize.

##### ~Milo~

“You know I’m going to hate this, right?”

“Will you get over yourself?” my sister snapped impatiently.

“I am. Your turn,” I snapped right back. “You’re always dragging me into these things, and we both know they never end well. Ever!”

“Well then this time maybe you should actually make an effort!” Abby turned to me fully, and I knew that I was in deep shit. “I’m only trying to get your sorry ass out of that stupid room of yours and teach you that you can actually enjoy living together with other species, but do you even appreciate it? No. All you ever do is complain!”

“That’s because I’m perfectly happy in my stupid room, living apart from _everyone_ , not just the other species!” I exclaimed.

“Then why is it that every time I come from school in the afternoons that you’re up a tree with a bunch of crazy Inus going crazy underneath you?” she demanded. “You pick fights with them on purpose, I know you do!”

“Well… if that’s true, then it’s only because they’re so easy to goad,” I said, scowling bad-temperedly but directing it everywhere but at her.

I refused to look at her, but I could feel her glare directed right at me, and I wilted faster than a winter weed in 32 degrees.

“So what are you going to do this time?” Abby demanded.

I scowled down at the ground in front of my feet. It was very nice ground. “I’ll…” I trailed off. What was I going to do?

My sister sighed long-sufferingly. “Just don’t pick any fights again, OK?”

“But what if Toby and his friends start going at me again?” I whined.

“You’re the one who’s always starting it, so if they start it now, then it’s well-deserved. However, if they do start, then you’ll just have to make peace with them.”

“WHAT?” I yowled, attracting several shocked looks from the few people in the street besides Abby and me.

“You heard me, douchebag,” she told me. I could tell from her use of the name that she was well and truly pissed. She never used my actual name, but under normal circumstances it would have been something a little tamer.

“Fine,” I spat, laying my ears back tightly so that she could see that she hadn’t changed my mind in the least. “I won’t pick fights. I will not, however, object to fights being picked with me.”

“Oh yes, you will,” she insisted, not giving me a chance to argue.

I felt defeated, and pushed my hands as deep into my pockets as they could go, hunching over to show my distaste. Even my tail was rigid and poofed up.

“Fine,” I spat.

Abby didn’t look so convinced, and I didn’t really blame her. Ever since middle school, I’d kind of been a real asshole to anyone that wasn’t… well, to anyone that wasn’t me. However, it was more noticeable around other species. More around Toby and his gang. Around Toby.

It had started in middle school, when Tobias O’Doul had moved into our neighbourhood, and subsequently started going to my school. The size of our school meant that he was guaranteed to be in my class, and at first I hadn’t minded. He was nice enough to me and the other Nekos – something I’d been worried about at first, due to his size and sort of scary looks – and his playful attitude meant we got on pretty well. We played together most breaks, tackling and laughing with each other just like everyone else, but then towards the end of my middle school career, I’d started to get this weird feeling whenever he’d single me out of my peers to take down in King of the Mountain or whatever game we were playing. For some reason he always used to pick on me, and while I didn’t mind it at all, what I did mind was the feeling I’d get whenever he tackled me and land on top of me, holding me tight around the waist. And it wasn’t only when we were playing. I started noticing that I was always looking around for him when I was waiting for my classes, or out on the football pitch. And I’d always get this extremely happy feeling whenever he would come over to me instead of going over to everyone else.

At that stage I knew what homosexuality was, and unfortunately I also knew about homophobia. We’d had an incident once before at school, something involving the 8th grade boys, and I understood all too well what my feelings meant, both for me and my safety. So I tried to ignore the feelings, tried to convince myself that Toby was just another guy who I enjoyed playing sports with because he was a good teammate and opponent.

But I couldn’t convince my own mind. In the end it got so bad that I became scared of it, and after another homophobia incident and figuring out that I was in no way attracted to any of the girls of our school, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that they were pretty, I rebelled against my feelings every chance I got. But when that didn’t work, I resorted to more serious means – pushing Toby away whenever I could, avoiding him when I couldn’t, and then retracting further and further into my shell of loneliness, away from feelings attached to anyone that wasn’t me or my family.

This caused me to begin to get bullied a lot because of my small size and stature, and that contributed a lot to my dislike of other species, especially Inus. They were generally bigger than us Nekos, and more bold, so it was mostly them ganging up on me. That was before I started fighting back though. Nowadays the only people to pick on me are those who think they can handle me.

But it didn’t matter the reasons. All that mattered was that everyone at school thought that I was a total antisocial jerk (which I was to them) and they took every chance they could get to goad me into fighting with them – that is, whenever it wasn’t me doing the goading. When Toby had refused to leave me alone, I’d taken to picking fights with him to convince him to do it, and in the end I guess it reached a point where he snapped, and since then we’ve been each other’s worst tormentors.

I really wished I could still be his friend, that we didn’t have to play this game, but being around him was dangerous. Being open to him would be dangerous, and I knew for a fact that – while I liked dancing on the edge, taking risks with the Inus all the time – I wasn’t prepared for that kind of danger. But I didn’t have the willpower to deny myself the kick that I got out of just seeing him, seeing him get worked up. I couldn’t deny myself the excitement of watching from the top of a tree as he glared up at me and yelled at me to come down, or sometimes if it was just him he’d sit with his back against a nearby pole or tree and watch me quietly, his eyes hidden behind his fringe so that I couldn’t make out his expression or what he was thinking. Eventually he’d get tired of it though, and would wander off, leaving me to slink down the tree self-satisfactorily.

“Hey, dipstick!” Abby’s voice broke through my thoughts, bringing me out of my glum daze. See? Never my real name. That’s just the way we show our affections for one another.

“What?” I snapped.

“We’re here,” she said with that typical long-suffering sighing thing only siblings can muster for each other.

I looked dubiously at the door when she rang the doorbell, but I didn’t have any time to object and say that whoever was inside had no chance of hearing it due to the loud music I could hear from inside before the door miraculously opened.

Inside stood Lydia, one of Abby’s popular friends. She greeted Abby as such, throwing her arms around her, but then she caught sight of me and her lip curled a little, showing her sharp Neko teeth. I almost bared my teeth at her in response, but just in time I remembered Abby’s warning and I just stopped myself. I was hard put to keep the neutral expression after I heard Lydia whisper, “Why do you always have to bring _him_ along?” to Abby.

“Are we ready to get this party started?” Abby exclaimed excitedly, ignoring the question and shooting me a small smile and a nod when Lydia had turned her back to us.

The two of us followed her inside, where the loud music was even louder, and worked our way into the party. The crowd was suffocating, but as soon as people saw me they parted like the ocean in front of Moses, sneering and smirking, laying their ears back and sometimes even going as far as baring their teeth. I guess I had quite a reputation for getting into scraps.

“I’ll see you around,” was all Abby yelled to me before disappearing into the heaving mass of people.

Once she was gone and I was left alone in my little clearing of hatred I was able to actually concentrate on listening to the song playing. At least the taste in music wasn’t _too_ bad – One Republic’s Everybody Loves Me was playing (ironic, I know). For a few minutes I was simply content bobbing around in my space, but then I caught a particularly nasty look from a nearby Inu jock, and I decided to make myself scarce, figuring it would be much easier to avoid them than it would be to ignore them once they started taunting me.

“What’re you doing here, creep?” a boy snarled at me as I passed. I paused, but reminded myself of my promise, and quickly started walking again. If there was one thing to be said of me, it’s that I took promises and family quite seriously. (Also, I was a little more than terrified of my sister’s temper.)

Squeezing through the crowd in the French doors, I felt a moment of relief as I took in a huge lungful of fresh air and got away from the crowd a little. Taking in a second breath, I looked around. In front of me was a large back yard with grass that was almost too green under the bright outdoor lights, surrounded by a deep jungle of plants in beds around the edges. My right ear twitched and swivelled violently as I heard someone yell “Banzai!” and I turned to see what was going on, but by that time it was too late.

Before I could blink my front was soaked by just about the biggest splash that I had ever witnessed anyone make in a pool. The chlorinated smell of the water assaulted my nose not a second after that and I jumped back, spitting and batting at my ears and whiskers, trying to shake the water off them.

“Oh fuck,” I heard someone to my right say.

“Aw, look at that, Toby, guess not even those without pussies can resist getting wet to you,” another voice taunted.

“What do you mean? He’s pussy all over,” somebody else cackled.

“You’ll have to clean up her mess,” another yelled.

“Shit,” I heard Toby’s quiet voice from near my feet and looked down to see him clambering out of the pool. I laid my ears flat back and jumped away from him when he came over to me, dripping wet. He stopped moving and stiffened, as if ready to start another of our normal scraps, but when I didn’t say anything and forced myself to relax he seemed to as well. “Sorry about that,” he said cautiously.

My breath caught in my throat as I happened to look down, and suddenly couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was wearing the standard swimming trunks, but they were riding low, and giving me a very expansive view of his perfect, muscular torso. Quickly I forced my eyes away, looking down at myself as if I was assessing the damage and hoping against all hope that I had looked away soon enough.

“Geez, look before you jump would you, mutt?” I asked, but my voice lacked its usual venom.

“Maybe you should look before you stand right next to the pool, moron,” he shot back readily.

I glared at the floor between us before shaking myself so that droplets of water flew everywhere. Toby lifted his arms to shield himself, even though I didn’t see the point in it. He was about as wet as anyone could get.

“Damn dogs, how am I going to get dry now?” I muttered darkly to myself.

Toby’s brows knit together, and I could see him become angry as his ears were pinned back to his head. “Hey, don’t blame all Inus for a mistake I made.”

“Why not, when you’re such a perfect specimen?” I snapped, hardly thinking about what I was saying, but stopping dead once I had heard myself.

Toby seemed about to argue, but then I guess what I’d said sank into his head as well and he froze.

“Well, to answer your question, use my towel,” he said eventually, his voice gruff. He was avoiding looking at me, and I him, so we fumbled with the towel between us for a second before I managed to grab it and pull it to me.

“Um… thanks,” I said, fighting the urge to look at him curiously, and turning to scramble through the crowd towards the bathroom to dry off.

  


##### ~Toby~

I stared at the empty space that had been taken up by Emilio not a second before with a frown, then glanced in the direction he’d fled in, but the crowd was surging so much that I couldn’t see him at all.

“Hey, Toby!” Mason yelled. “Eat this!”

He hit the springboard at a run and flipped twice before curling into a tight ball and hitting the water. Half the pool was either splashed onto me or slopped over the edges.

“Nice one, mate!” I yelled back, taking a running jump to join him in the water again, burning black eyes and caramel skin temporarily forgotten.

  


##### ~Milo~

It took me well over ten minutes to get the most of the water out of my fur and hair, and even then my shirt was still wet. After a while I gave it up as a lost cause and just decided to leave it hanging over my shoulder. I reasoned that, seeing as it was such a hot night, people wouldn’t look at me too strangely for wanting to cool off, and as soon as I entered the room where the party was at I knew I’d been right. Half of the guys, and a few of the girls, were walking around shirtless in swimming trunks or bikinis. I was still hanging onto the towel, which I probably should have taken back to Toby, but I didn’t feel up to seeing him again at all tonight, so I just hung it over my shoulder with my shirt and then took a look around to make sure he wasn’t in the crowd right then.

Finding that I had already had enough of the party scene, I skirted the crowd and made my way to the kitchen to get myself a well-deserved drink.

In the kitchen was a large tub of ice water with assorted drinks floating around in it. I chose a Sprite and, after satisfying my paranoia by making sure the cap seal was still unbroken, downed half of it in one huge gulp. Coughing a bit from the overly fizzy liquid burning my throat, I leaned back against the counter far away from the door and closed my eyes. Geez, this "getting along with everyone" thing really was exhausting.

Looking up as I heard someone clear his throat, my breath caught again at the sight of Toby standing in the doorway, dripping water all over the rug. I snatched my eyes away from him quickly and tried to make myself small against the counter.

The silence between us would have been deafening if the music hadn’t been already. I avoided looking at him at all costs, instead studying every cabinet in the room.

Eventually Toby walked over and asked, “Could I have my towel back?”

Surprised and embarrassed, I started. “Oh, um… sure,” I stammered, ripping it off my shoulder and practically throwing it in his face. Unfortunately my shirt got caught up in it, and Toby had to awkwardly hand that back to me.

“S-sorry,” I muttered.

“’S OK,” he said quietly.

He turned to dry himself off and, taking my cue, I slipped backwards and out of the door faster than you could say “Woof”.

  


##### ~Toby~

Milo still hadn’t returned with my towel by the time I’d finished in the pool, but I didn’t really mind. It was a warm night, and I had no need to dry myself off. I spent another few minutes laughing with my friends as they did backflips and dives off the board, and then decided to get myself a drink.

Walking through the house, I was glad of the rough concrete floors – easy to walk on without slipping, even when you’re wet.

I was greeted by a few people as I pushed my way through the crowd, but didn’t stay to chat. I really needed that drink.

When I got the door of the kitchen however, I stopped dead when I saw that Milo was standing with his back against a counter, nursing a bottle of Sprite and looking very sorry for himself in his usual angry, aggressive sort of way.

It took less than a moment for my eyes to snap straight to his skinny torso, exposed, I suppose, due to the wet state of his shirt.

He didn’t seem to notice my entrance, and so I got a good look at him. His shoulders were sagging and his ears were drooping as if he was really tired or something. His whole demeanour suggested that something was weighing heavily on his mind.

And I wanted to help him so badly it almost hurt. I wanted to walk right over to him and give him a hug, just like I would have when we were still in middle school. Except that he very clearly hated me and anything that had any connection to me, so I supposed that that wouldn’t have been very fair of me.

So instead of fighting the urge, I cleared my throat to make him notice me. Maybe once he was aware of me, he’d push me away like always, and I’d have a real reason to concentrate on. A reason to stay away, to strengthen my resolve.

But I was wrong.

When he heard me, his ears twitched upright and he looked up, eyes widening when he saw me leaned against the doorway. His eyes seemed to dart down away from my eyes, then away and all over the room as he pressed himself back against the counter, ears back. The actions – even though they were nothing like his usual dismissal or taunting, his standard reaction upon seeing me – hurt. A lot. You’d think I’d start getting used to it, but his constant hatred of me never, ever hurt any less than it had when he’d first started doing it. It still confused me to no end why he’d started it, and even though he’d soon after started doing it to all the other Inus, and then even to other Nekos, I couldn’t get over the idea that I had somehow been the cause of this, that it was all directed at me.

It took a full minute for me to gather my wits and ask quietly, “Could I have my towel back?” in a strained voice.

His black ears twitched and he jumped a little. “Oh, um… sure,” he stammered, throwing it at me. Pulling it off my face, I had to stop myself from pausing to breath in the scent – his scent – that was all over the material. Looking again, I realised that the reason it smelled so strongly of him was that his shirt had accidentally gotten tangled with the towel, and had also been pressed against my face. I handed the item of clothing back to him, carefully trying to stop myself from gasping and pressing my nose to it again.

“S-sorry,” he all-but-whispered, and I could see a blush highlighting his cheeks. Wait… he was blushing?

“’S OK,” I managed to squeak before hurriedly covering my head with the towel and starting to rub my hair vigorously, hoping to appear like I was just drying off. I didn’t even realise the chance I was giving him, and only did when I took the towel away from me and looked again, once again coming face to face with only empty space where he should have been.

  


##### ~Milo~

When I got back into the thick of the party, I realised that all of a sudden the music was too loud, the people too close, and the colours too bright. I needed to get out of there, find Abby and get out, but suddenly there was someone in front of me, and another beside me, and I couldn’t find a way between them no matter what I tried.

Looking up, my heart dropped into my socks when I recognised Heath looming over me, and several of his friends surrounding us, leaving me no route of escape.

“What’re you doing here, you little pussy?” Heath asked, glowering down at me.

I gulped and took a step back so that I didn’t have to crane my neck to look up at him.

“I, um… I was invited,” I said, reminding myself for the millionth time about Abby’s insistence on my not starting a scene this time around.

“Like hell you were,” Heath growled.

“Everybody was,” I pointed out to him, my voice tight. I hoped my sister would be proud of me – I had even refrained from saying something about that being the only reason _he_ was here as well.

“Everybody except you,” Heath snarled, stepping closer. I would have stepped back, but that would mean putting my back right up against the chest of one of his friends, so I stayed put.

“I’m not looking for a fight tonight, Heath,” I tried to explain, putting my hands up in a passive gesture.

“What, you think that makes a difference?” he challenged. “Your sorry little ass is just cooking up a way of attacking us as soon as our backs are turned.”

“I swear, Heath,” I tried again. He took another menacing step towards me, and my ears flattened defensively while I dropped into a crouch.

His own ears pricked, and there was a weird light to his eyes. He was enjoying this. “Look at that, the little pussy’s scared of us!” he said, barking in laughter.

My face burned when I realised we’d attracted quite a crowd – something I’d always avoided. For some reason the thought of them watching and doing nothing angered me, even though I’d given them literally no reason to try and help me, ever.

“Don’t call me that,” I told Heath. “Me or any Neko.”

“Oh, he’s sticking up for his species,” Heath cooed, taking another step forwards. I stepped back reflexively, and bumped into a hard surface. I was quickly snagged by huge arms, and held there as Heath strode over to me purposefully.

“Not so brave now that you haven’t got a tree to climb, huh?” Heath asked, glowering down at me.

“N-no, I just don’t want to—” I was quickly cut off by Heath’s fist making contact with my stomach, forcing the breath out of me, accompanied by my last shreds of patience.

“OK, now I’m angry,” I snarled/wheezed at Heath’s knees, which was all I could see of him as I bent over in an effort to protect my midriff, and with that I started squirming.

I twisted and scratched my way out of my captor’s arms, earning howls of pain from him. Once I was free of him I jumped around and past the other thugs, dodging arms and grabbing hands, and darted for the open French doors. Unfortunately for me the crowd was still thick here, but one snarl from me and they fell away from me. Maybe I should be renamed. Moses wasn’t a bad name.

“Oi!”

Another impact shook the breath right out of me again, and I dropped to the floor, half under Heath’s huge body. I had almost made it, we were right on the edge of the crowd, right in the French doors. I could smell my freedom, the fresh air of the outdoors, but there was no way I was getting out from underneath Heath.

“You’re not going anywhere, you little shit,” Heath snarled at me. And this time it wasn’t even a human snarl – those pathetic little sounds they make at the back of their throats – this time it was real. He was angry enough to snarl like the dog he was, and I knew I was in trouble.

However, I was angry too, and so I laid my ears flat back and spat up into his face, baring my sharp teeth.

Heath’s snarling didn’t for a second diminish as he lifted his fist and brought it down for my head.

_Thump._

The sound was deafening, and the pain blinding.

Luckily enough for me I had twisted at the last second, but that meant that instead of hitting my face, Heath had hit my shoulder, and at a bad angle too.

I yowled loudly, and used Heath’s momentary satisfaction to heave him off of me, clawing at his arms and face when he tried to stop me, eliciting some satisfactory howls from him. But suddenly there was someone else. Heath was wrenched off of me as another huge body collided with his, pulling him away from me. The two of them fell to the side, snarling and growling, snapping at each other in their rage.

I didn’t wait around to see who my saviour was. Once Heath was off, I jumped to my feet and bolted for the doors, and this time the crowd surged away from me and I could get away without anybody else stopping me.

I heard several shouts of my name – one from my sister, one from Heath, and one from somebody else. But I didn’t stop. I needed to get out, get away, so I jumped the fence, clawed my way over, and ran.

  


##### ~Toby~

After Milo had disappeared, I didn’t dare move from the kitchen before I could get my breath back. Also, I wanted some alone time so that I could sniff at his scent on my towel. Tentatively at first, and then deeper and deeper, until he was all I could smell, see, feel.

I knew it was a stupid idea. I knew I was just fooling myself. I had been since middle school. But I still did it. I had the willpower of a fat slug in a patch of lettuce. That is to say, close to none. I couldn’t deny myself the chance, the one chance that I might get for the next lifetime, to familiarise myself with his scent, with him.

And you know what’s amazing? It’s that a person’s scent says a lot more about what they’re feeling than a lot of people realise. And I realised something while I was smelling that towel. On that towel, on Milo’s scent, I could smell his discomfort, his anger, but most importantly, his embarrassment and mental torment, his lust.

I couldn’t stop the groan/whine combination that escaped me when I identified the last feeling, but it woke me up to the fact that I was treading forbidden ground. I was very glad that there was nobody to see me as I flung the towel away from me to the other corner of the room, almost knocking a glass off the counter in the process. My heart was racing, and I had to figure out a way of slowing it down, so I pushed away from the counter and darted out of the kitchen door towards the open doors.

I didn’t pay any attention to the crowd or the music, and immediately dove straight into the deep end, rubbing desperately at my hair and shoulders underneath the surface, trying to get Milo’s scent off of me, away from me.

When I resurfaced, I was gasping for breath, but my heartbeat was more or less back to normal.

That is, until there was a disturbance in the crowd, and two bodies came crashing to the ground just outside the doors.

My heart stopped when the larger of the two moved, and suddenly I saw Milo, dwarfed and straddled by Heath.

I saw red when my ears picked up the snarling that Heath was doing, and when he pulled his fist back to hit Milo, I shot straight out of the pool, racing across the space between us.

The sound of Milo’s ear splitting cry of pain spurred me on, and I dove for Heath, tackling him right off of Milo and tumbling across the ground with him, grappling and snarling, baring my teeth even as he bared his.

A second later, I heard Milo’s little sister screaming at him, and looked up. Heath and I both yelled his name – he in rage and I in worry – when we saw Milo claw his way up and over the fence, jumping into the front garden beyond and bolting.

A moment later Heath caught me unawares as he hauled me to my feet by the front of my shirt and snarled into my face.

“The hell are you doing, O’Doul?” he growled.

“What the fuck do you think _you’re_ doing?” I snarled, pushing myself away from him.

“Making him pay for being a little shit,” he snarled.

“Well then you’ll have to go through me first,” I growled, my tail held out rigidly behind me as I stared him down.

Heath snarled, but his tongue came out to run itself along his fangs, obviously unnerved by my sudden display of dominance.

“Thought so,” I snapped, then turned tail and jumped the fence easily.

Out on the street, I ran straight into Milo’s sister, who was just exiting the front door. She seemed to be in a state of mild hysteria, fighting me off when I tried to get her attention by grabbing her arm.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, making her turn to look at me. “Where’s Milo?”

“Like I’m going to tell you!” she yelled. “As if this whole thing wasn’t in any way your fault.”

I almost snapped back at her, but then realised just in time that it probably wouldn’t help my case. Instead I took a deep breath and felt my ears droop and my forehead crease in a worried frown.

“Look, I just want to help. This had nothing to do with me,” I tried to reason with her.

“It has _everything_ to do with you!” she yelled at me. “It’s all your fault!”

This made me angry, too angry to hold myself back.

“This isn’t my fault! I just want to help him!” I yelled at her.

“Yes it is! If it wasn’t for his stupid feelings for you, he wouldn’t be like this!” she screamed.

I was already yelling back at her when I noticed her face slacken a little and the realisation of what she’d said hit me like a club to the head, effectively cutting off my voice.

“Wh-what?” I asked.

She looked around with wide eyes, as if she’d been caught in the headlights of a car. I was about to demand an answer when she sagged and closed her eyes.

“You heard me,” she said quietly.

I was speechless. Milo’s sister seemed to take that the wrong way.

“And if you even think of doing anything to him with that information, I’m going to—”

“He likes me?” I asked her quietly, still struck dumb.

My tone of voice made her pause uncertainly.

“Yeah.” She was still being very cautious.

“Then… then why his attitude?” I questioned.

“Because he’s scared of his feelings,” she whispered. “I would be too.”

I stopped to consider that. It was true enough that Milo had reason enough to be scared of being homosexual – given the… incidents that had occurred in middle school – but to go so far as to make an enemy of the world…

“I need to go find him,” his sister told me, pushing my hand off her arm and stepping away from me.

“Let me help,” I asked, practically begged her. “I want to help, to know he’s OK.”

She looked at me dubiously for a few seconds, then nodded slowly. I breathed a sigh of relief and followed her as she turned and strode quickly down the street.

“This is all my fault,” she started. “If I had just let him stay at home like he wanted to…”

“Do you have any idea where he might be?” I asked her.

She frowned and thought.

“Maybe at home?” I suggested.

At that she shook her head. “He’ll want somewhere he feels safe and alone. That’s how Nekos deal with stuff like this – we’re normally too arrogant to go somewhere where people can see us and know we’re weak, even if it’s only subconscious.”

“Then where else?”

“He’s a climber,” she said, sounding like she was considering a puzzle in front of her. “He solves problems by getting away from the world, climbing. He’ll have found himself the tallest tree possible.”

“The park then,” I said automatically, thinking of the tall, old syringa and fig trees in the parks dotting the suburbs here.

“Which one?”

“There are only two within a three or four kilometre radius of here,” I said. “You go to Prendwick. I’ll go to Sheldrake.”

She frowned worriedly.

“Sheldrake’s huge,” she fretted.

“I’ve got this,” I said, and she nodded when she realised I was referring to my excellent nose.

She turned to go left at the next crossing while I went straight, but swung back to me at the last second.

“Please bring him back,” she begged me, tears shining in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I will,” I told her firmly, and then we both went our separate ways.

  


##### ~Milo~

My shoulder hurt, my legs hurt, my claws hurt and my heart hurt. And I was in such a state of emotional jumble that I was going numb. Good.

Curled up tightly at the very top of a huge fig tree, I refused to listen to my thoughts about how Abby would be worrying herself sick about me, beating them down with other thoughts like, “It’s all her fault, if she hadn’t dragged me into going then I wouldn’t be in this situation, and she wouldn’t have to worry, so it’s all her fault, her fault, her fault.” Except I couldn’t quite convince myself. My conscience kept throwing the line, “And if you hadn’t denied your feelings all this time, then none of this would ever have happened,” right back at me, and there’s nothing worse for an already injured Neko than a guilt trip, especially when it was provided by none other than themselves.

After a while, my thoughts returned to the fight, and to the Inus. I winced at the throb of recollection my shoulder sent me when I thought about how Heath had hit me, but then I remembered the boy that had tackled Heath off of me and allowed me to escape. I think I might have been mistaken, but I had initially thought it had been Toby.

I shook my head. I was definitely mistaken. Toby had no reason whatsoever to save me, or even think of doing it, so there was no way it would have been him. Besides, I’ve been on the receiving end of his own bullying before, so I knew for a fact he wouldn’t be the one to stand up for me to Heath, one of his own team mates in this damned game I’d gotten myself into. Besides, there had been plenty of strangers at the party. It was probably just someone who’d gotten angry at the way I’d been treated and decided to do something about it.

And I almost had myself convinced.

Until a voice called my name.

  


##### ~Toby~

I spent the better part of an hour searching the southern regions of the park, slowly working my way up north while I called Milo’s name and checked every tree, even scrambling a few metres up one or two to peer through their thick foliage.

No luck.

I hadn’t even caught a whiff of his scent.

But I wasn’t going to give up. I knew Milo needed someone right now, and if that someone couldn’t be his sister, then I guess I would have to do.

Crossing the road into the second part of the long, thin park that stretched along the small stream running through it, I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “Milo!”

Silence.

I walked purposefully to the tallest stand of trees on the outskirts of the park and peered up through the branches as best I could. At least these were fig trees, and not syringas – that meant that they were basically domes of leaves, hollow inside, and I didn’t have to deal with looking through leaves as well as thick branches.

“Milo?” I called gently up the biggest one.

No answer.

Not that I was expecting one anyway.

But what he couldn’t hide from me was his scent, and for that I was glad.

As soon as I walked to the other side of the huge trunk I knew I’d found him. Not only could I smell him, but he’d left claw marks all over the trunk and branches.

“Milo,” I called again, softer this time. “Milo, I’m here to help you. You need to get home, your sister’s worried.”

I was glad of the lights running along the edges of the park, as without them even my intent gaze wouldn’t have been able to make out the slight shift near the trunk of the tree I was barking up (Ha ha, I thought dryly) and my heart fluttered – and not in a good way – when I realised how high up he was.

“Just leave me alone,” he told me. He knew he didn’t have to raise his voice due to my good hearing, and he didn’t.

“Milo, come on, you’re hurt and your sister wants to see you.”

“I said just leave me alone!” he snapped, and looked down at me, eyes burning. I realised what I’d said and remembered what his sister had told me. _“…we’re normally too arrogant to go somewhere where people can see us and know we’re weak…”_ I realised I’d inadvertently stepped right in it – pointing out that he was hurt, stomping on his Neko pride.

“Look, Milo,” I called, trying a different tactic. “We’re really worried about you. Your sister’s almost in hysterics.”

My attempt to guilt trip him only made him shift a little more, curling up into a tighter ball. He didn’t answer.

Getting impatient – more with my inability to think of something to do than with him – I called, “Fine then, I’ll call your sister to come.”

“You call Abby to come here and I’ll come down there and shred your ears,” he snarled at me. I stopped, a little shocked at his threat.

“But she’s super worried,” I told him, at a complete loss.

“Then she should learn to deal with it.”

I had to remind myself that he and I weren’t truly enemies, that we were just having a misunderstanding in which he was partly the victim, and that he was hurt and my strangling him for his arrogance wasn’t going to help us at all.

“Fine then,” I said as evenly as I could. “But I’m not leaving until you come down and I can get you home safely.”

He snorted, but didn’t say anything, instead laying his head on his arms and closing his eyes.

I sat down at the base of another tree, rubbing the crick from my neck. Holding a conversation with someone 15 meters above you was hard on the vertebrae.

I ended up texting his sister, Abby, anyway. I did tell her of his threat, and she seemed to understand, but I figured that I was doing her a huge favour, telling her that he was OK.

 _Thank you,_ she texted me. _We both owe you so much._

 _I’ll think about what ice cream flavour I like in the meantime. I hear there’s a really good place for ice cream in Freo,_ I joked, trying to lighten the situation up a bit.

 _You do that,_ she sent back.

I sat back and closed my eyes, keeping an ear open for any movement from above, mulling over all that had happened in the short space of time between 6 pm and now. I didn’t even know what time it was, but it didn’t matter. Between getting into a fight with a guy roughly one and a half times my size and winning (more or less), coming to realise that I couldn’t carry on denying my feelings for my crush and then searching and searching for said crush before I lost my mind with worry, I’d found out that my crush of roughly 5 years liked me back, and while that might not seem like an overly big deal, when an impossible crush happens to work out for you, it is a big deal. It was to me, anyway.

And now I was waiting for my crush to suck it up and climb down a 20 meter tall tree and into my arms.

As if the last part would even happen. He’d probably sneak down behind my back and then bolt home before I could do anything about it.

That thought made me look up, but I needn’t have worried. It appeared that Milo wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back again, ready for a long wait.

  


##### ~Milo~

My heart skipped a beat – forget it, a lot of beats – when I heard Toby’s voice calling my name. I couldn’t help my hope that he had come to see if I was OK, but the sane part of me beat that thought senseless and stowed its corpse away in a chest full of other skeletons.

“Milo?” his gentle voice called out to me, and I almost sobbed in frustration – both at myself for not answering and at Toby for not simply leaving me alone to my feelings of loneliness and depression. I wanted so desperately to crawl into his arms and cry my heart out on his shoulder – this time not only his but anyone’s really, I was that hurt – but I knew it wasn’t going to happen, even if he was playing at sounding all caring and gentle right now. It wouldn’t even happen if he was truly being nice to me. I couldn’t let it. So I kept my mouth shut and didn’t move.

He walked around the base of my tree, inspecting the bark, and sure enough, he stopped at the spot where I’d clawed my way up to the lowest branches.

“Milo,” if it was possible, his voice was even softer this time. “I’m here to help you.” That did it for me. Even the mention of Abby being worried didn’t matter to me anymore. All I felt was anger; anger at myself, at Abby for apparently dragging Toby into this, at Toby for coming to get me, and for telling me he was trying to help when really he was just doing the exact opposite. Just his being here was making things a thousand times more difficult than they should have been. I shifted angrily, turning to my other side on the thick branch I was lying on.

“Just leave me alone,” I told him firmly, doing my absolute best to keep my breathing and voice steady.

“Milo, come on, you’re hurt and your sister wants to see you.”

“I said just leave me alone!” I yelled before I could stop myself. My face burned at his mention of my injury in such a pitying tone, even though the sudden change in position to glare down at him made my shoulder throb painfully. I faltered at the sight of the gentle but startlingly white light from the outdoor lights nearby illuminating his face, which was turned up towards me with a worried frown plastered across it.

Toby took a moment to answer.

“Look, Milo,” he called in a slightly different tone. “We’re really worried about you…”

My breath hitched. He’d said “we”…

I shook my head. _“Stop it,”_ I warned myself.

There was a pregnant pause before Toby seemed to lose it and let the façade drop. “Fine then, I’ll call your sister to come.” I couldn’t stop the threat from escaping me that time. The last thing I wanted was Abby coming here to climb up here and drag me home, humiliating me in front of Toby, and cutting short the alone time I had with him, even though I knew that that’s what I actually needed right now. What I needed and what I wanted appeared to be two completely different things.

I ignored his attempt to guilt trip me, and snapped right back at him. Eventually he gave up and said, “Fine then, but I’m not leaving until you come down and I can get you home safely.” And as if to prove his point he made himself comfortable sitting down and leaning against the base of a tree near to the base of mine.

I sort of choked on that, and immediately buried my head in my arms, squeezing my eyes shut. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t mean it, it meant nothing, I couldn’t take him seriously, I couldn’t.

I didn’t look up again until I had stopped shaking with suppressed sobs and angry trembling, which is to say at least fifteen minutes later. Looking down, I was surprised to see that Toby was still there – normally an Inu wouldn’t have the attention span necessary for a waiting game like this – and very uncomfortable to find that he was watching me intently.

At first his gaze flickered a little when he realised I’d caught him staring, but then it returned to mine, and he held the contact. This time it was me who broke it, looking away purposefully and rolling over so I wouldn’t have to see him.

It took another half an hour of silence to convince him to get up and do something.

“OK, fine then,” he said, coming over to the base of my tree. “Guess I’m going to have to come up and fetch you then.”

  


##### ~Toby~

What the hell was I getting myself into? Everybody knew that Inus were horrible at climbing anything, but that didn’t appear to be stopping me. I’d made up my mind, and I was bloody well going to stick with it.

When I announced my intentions to Milo, he looked up and down at me in shock, but didn’t say anything as I jumped as high as I could and swung myself into the lower branches.

The nice thing about fig trees is the sheer size of their branches. This one was so big that it was less like balancing on a thin branch and more like walking down a garden path as I navigated my way over to the trunk. Which is a good thing, because even I, as a pretty athletic Inu, sucked at balancing on anything that was less than 30 cm wide.

Nevertheless, I was careful as I picked my way up along the branch towards the trunk of the tree, grasping the next branch up and nervously, shakily, pulled myself up to that one.

It took ten minutes of panting, struggling and looking for ways to get halfway up to Milo, who was still watching me, albeit with a very worried expression on his face.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me when I took a rest on a particularly thick branch not far below him, clutching another branch at chest height to make sure I didn’t fall.

“Fetching you,” I gasped.

“You’ll fall.” It was a statement, one I could expect from any Neko, but his tone was uncertain, like he wasn’t sure what he should do. He seemed torn between taunting me about my inability to scramble up a tree he’d probably scaled in 30 seconds flat and feeling concerned for me.

“Then I’ll try again,” I told him.

He fell silent and I could feel him watching me as I lifted my arms again to pull myself further up.

I got another meter higher, scrambling and slipping my way from branch to branch, but then I was stuck. I couldn’t see any other way up.

 _“Crap,”_ I thought, but I didn’t say anything.

“Stuck?” Milo’s voice drifted down to me quietly. He seemed to have decided on a neutral tone, preventing me from knowing what he was thinking from just his voice.

“No,” I said with more confidence than I felt, and made my way around to the other side of the trunk, trying to find another way. I came up empty handed.

“Damn,” I whispered to myself.

“Should have stayed down on the ground where you’re safe,” he told me.

I growled at myself in frustration, but he seemed to think it was directed at him.

“Hey, I’m just stating the facts,” he defended.

“Not you,” I told him. “Me.”

“You can’t help being a clumsy Inu,” I was surprised to hear Milo defending me from myself.

I didn’t respond, only looked around me for another way, even though I knew it was hopeless.

He sighed. “I can’t even get mad at you for being stubborn, it’s just part of being part dog.”

“Why would you even get mad at me in the first place?”

He didn’t answer, and I realised that he was thinking the same as me – that the question concerned a little more than our current situation. More like I was fishing for an answer to the question I’d been asking myself for 5 years – why did he start pushing me away?

It sounded like he was about to answer too, except then I had to go and be an idiot, moving my right foot ever so slightly to my right, and before I knew what was happening what little balance I had had was gone, and I was falling through empty space.

  


##### ~Milo~

I reacted as soon as I saw Toby’s right foot shift closer to the smooth edge of the large branch he was standing on, jumping from my perch like a tightly-coiled spring and reaching out for him.

Luckily for me he was able to hold onto another branch for the split second I needed to get to him, and then I’d grabbed him around the waist and slammed him between my body and the tree, digging my claws into the bark and whatever other holds I could get, leaving deep scratches in their wake as we slid down a little due to our momentum. I hissed long and low when my sore shoulder made contact with Toby’s rock hard torso.

With my head right next to his ribcage, I could hear his heart pounding right into my ear, and his breath whooshing through his lungs as he gasped and panted from the shock.

“Stupid dog,” I muttered. “I told you you’d fall.”

“But you didn’t tell me you’d catch me,” he gasped.

“Because I wasn’t sure I wanted to,” I told him bitterly.

That shut him up. For a second I just kept him there, trying to find a way out of this and making sure that we wouldn’t tumble to the ground if I moved an inch.

Then I took a look up and down. There was a branch above and slightly to the right of us that Toby could hang onto while I figured out where to go from here. My thin arms were already trembling under the stress of keep our combined weight up and pressed to the tree.

“G-grab that branch by your head, and hold on tight,” I forced through my teeth.

Toby didn’t argue, wrapping his strong arms around the tree limb and alleviating some of the stress on my arms and legs. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Looking down again, I saw a branch that he could stand on.

“OK, now kick off your shoes and socks,” I commanded.

“What?”

“Just do it, dammit!”

He didn’t argue again, instead just toeing his shoes and socks off.

“Good. I’m going to let go, and you’re going to swing a little so that you can stand on that branch.”

He nodded as best he could, and we did that.

Once he was standing on the branch I breathed another sigh of relief, and then positioned myself in front of him with my arms on either side of him so that there was no chance that he was going to fall again.

“OK, now you’re going to listen to me,” I told him sternly. “And you’re not going to ask questions until we’re at a height where you won’t kill yourself when you fall.”

“Don’t you mean _if_ I fall?”

“No.”

With that sobering remark, I moved away and started directing him down the tree, telling him which branches would be best to hold his weight, which way to go, where to hang and where to hold, and eventually we were at a safe height – round about two meters off the ground.

That was when I turned on him.

“Now get out of my tree,” I told him, and pushed him off the branch.

Toby yelped and tumbled to the ground. I felt a flash of guilt when he landed with a heavy _thump_ , but commanded myself to turn around and start climbing again.

That is, until he jumped up and grabbed my leg, pulling me off balance.

With no time to react, I just yowled and fell, unable to twist and land on my feet in such a short distance.

But the awaited impact never came. Instead I landed on something warm and slightly softer than the ground, something with arms that caught my flailing legs and arms, something that cushioned my injured shoulder instead of jarring it.

I glared up at Toby from my position in his arms like some fucking princess.

“What the fuck, man?”

  


##### ~Toby~

I was surprised that, given the way my heart was pounding at Milo’s sudden closeness, that Milo hadn’t been able to hear it. Then again, he probably did and just put it down to the near-death experience I’d just had.

And it might have been, except it persisted way past the time that it should have, and I knew why. Milo’s idea to push me against the trunk of the tree had the desired effect of keeping me from falling again, but that wasn’t the only effect it had on me.

By the time we were two meters from the bottom, my heart was still hammering (I was pretty sure it was stuck in overdrive) and my breath was coming in short gasps as Milo pushed and pulled me this way and that around the trunk to make sure I didn’t slip again.

I was just standing on the last branch, thinking “I made it!” when Milo got on the branch behind me, making it shake a little. I was proud of myself for keeping my balance that time, and almost grinned despite myself, but then Milo said, “Now get out of my tree,” and pushed me into open space.

Ah… that’s what he was talking about… _when_ I fell.

Milo didn’t waste any time and almost before I’d hit the ground (with a very painful _thud_ ) he was turning to disappear back up the tree, but I’d be damned if I was going to let him get away with that. I jumped to my feet, crouched down and leapt into the air, grabbing his ankle just before he lifted it out of my reach.

I’m not sure what I expected when I caught him in my arms – man, he was light – but before I knew what I was doing, he and I were saying, “What the fuck, man?” at the exact same time.

I did a double-take as he did. But the surprised expression didn’t last long as he realised I was still holding him. He immediately started kicking, struggling to get out of my arms. A scratch on my bicep from one of his claws and I yelped and dropped him right on his arse in front of me.

  


##### ~Milo~

OK, I definitely didn’t think that through.

Toby dropped me as soon as I nicked him (OK, scratched him) on his upper arm, and, not having expected it, I fell right on the base of my tail in the dirt in front of him.

“Yow!” I yelled, rolling over to clutch my arse. “The fuck?”

“What the hell was that for?” Toby asked me with an angry expression, nursing the cut on his arm (which, I noticed with a pang of guilt, was bleeding quite badly).

“For making me fall,” I grumbled.

“Oh, like you didn’t deserve that,” he snarled. “You were the one who started it!”

“What are we, five?” I shot back, getting up slowly due to the pain of my shoulder and tail combined. I flicked my tail to make sure it was OK and to clean it of the dirt that I’d landed in, my ears pinned back. “I saved your fucking ass.”

“And then pushed me out of the tree,” he shot back.

“Because you deserved that! I warned you about climbing, didn’t I? I told you you’d fall, and when you did, instead of letting your sorry ass fall and get what you deserved, I saved you from at least a few broken bones.”

“Something which, I remember you saying, you weren’t sure you wanted to actually do.” Oh crap, I’d actually said that? I hadn’t exactly been thinking about anything other than keeping us from plummeting the 10 metres to the ground.

“Well whatever, I did it,” I said, and turned to jump up the tree again, but then Toby’s warm body slammed into me and my back hit the tree trunk behind me, and all I could think was _“What the fuck?”_

  


##### ~Toby~

“Like hell I’m letting you get up there again,” I snarled down at Milo, keeping him between my body and the tree and making sure he couldn’t get away.

“Let go of me, fleabag!” he yelled after a second’s shocked hesitation.

I refused him, and instead caught his hands – which he’d been trying desperately to claw at me with – and forced them to the tree next to his head.

He struggled for another few seconds, but upon realising that he wasn’t going anywhere due to my obvious size advantage, he stilled.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” he asked me, and I was shocked to hear his voice crack and break as he said it with a sob. “All I ever wanted was to be away from you. Why won’t you let me do that?”

“Wha…” I couldn’t quite comprehend what was going on, but then my conversation with his sister came back to me. _“He’s scared of his feelings…”_

Quietening, I simply looked down at him for a second, watched how his shoulders shook as he tried to contain the sobs that wracked his body regardless.

“Hey, hey,” I said quietly, gently letting one of his hands go so that I could cup his cheek, turning his face back towards me. He closed his eyes and I could see the tears in them, ready to leak out. I gently wiped them away with my thumb, but he pulled away from me.

“Don’t,” he whispered.

“Or what?” I whispered back.

“Or else… or else…”

“Or else this might happen?” I asked, a heartbeat before I lifted his chin with my fingers and pressed my lips to his.

And that was the last heartbeat for a while.

  


##### ~Milo~

When I felt his body slam into mine, I couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted in my stomach and dropped like stones to my nether regions, or the hot electric shocks I was feeling all across my front where he was pressed to me.

But then I came to my senses and I realised what was happening.

“Let go of me, fleabag!” I yelled, lifting my hands, claws extended, to scratch and claw my way out of this space. He quickly put an end to that, however, by pinning my hands near my head.

I realised very fast that I was going nowhere, no matter how hard I struggled.

Sagging in defeat, I felt a sob of frustration building up in my chest.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” I sobbed, angry at myself for the vulnerability I was showing him. “All I ever wanted was to be away from you. Why won’t you let me do that?”

Toby seemed to be struck dumb by that. Stupid mutt – as if he needed to be surprised by that, since all I ever did was either run from him or fight with him.

I was crying for real now, and I couldn’t stop it. I guess I’d held onto my feelings for too long, kept them bottled up, and now they’d turned into some really nasty concoction that wasn’t letting up.

“Hey, hey,” Toby’s gentle voice said from above me, and I felt a hand on my cheek.

“Don’t,” I whimpered, pulling away.

“Or what?”

Despite everything, I almost moaned at the tone and strange husky qualities of his voice.

“Or else… or else…” I couldn’t even think straight. My entire body was burning, yelling at me to kiss him, to pounce on him, to do _anything_ , but I couldn’t listen. I wouldn’t.

“Or else this might happen?” Toby asked, and then his lips were sealed to mine.

The kiss wasn’t anything special, I suppose. It was a quick pressure on the lips, nothing more, but I felt fireworks going off in my head anyway, and I was stunned at just how much damage my willpower took just from a split second of contact.

When he pulled away, Toby’s face stayed close to mine, hovering, testing the waters, making sure I wasn’t going to… to what? Kill him? Hmm, I was still trying to get my befuddled brain to decide about that.

When I didn’t move, he moved in again, still gentle and slow, but with more pressure behind it. And this time, I kissed back even against my better judgement.

“S-stop,” I gasped between kisses. I wasn’t even sure if I truly meant it though, and Toby wasn’t even phased. In fact, he pushed himself closer to me, running his free hand down my face and over my side while the other one let go of my wrist, only to twine his fingers into mine. I was about to start fighting again, my brain yelling at me through the lust-induced fog inside it that this wasn’t what I wanted, it wasn’t… it wasn’t good.

But then as he shifted closer his thigh brushed against my painfully hard erection, and I saw stars.

  


##### ~Toby~

When Milo told me to stop, it took a second for the word to register in my brain (which seemed to have conveniently switched off). It took another second for me to comprehend what it meant, but by then my brain had worked out that if he really didn’t want it, he had a free hand to scratch and claw at me as he wished, so…

So I ignored him. Or at least, his words. The rest of him was pretty impossible to ignore – the tiny but strong frame pressed against my larger one, the soft lips that were kissing me back even as they were telling me to do the opposite, and the soft, soft hair that my fingers had found right underneath his left ear.

I needed to be closer to him. Closer than what was humanly possible. I felt my need growing, and that need churned in my stomach to become lust, and I pressed myself closer to him.

Suddenly Milo arched into me, closing whatever space there had been between us as he gasped and reached up quickly with his free hand. His other hand tightened its grip on mine.

I almost pulled away instinctively, terrified of his claws, but instead of hitting me or scratching me, Milo’s hand found the back of my head and twisted itself into my hair, pulling me closer to him and deepening the kiss.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to taste him.

  


##### ~Milo~

I moaned loudly when I felt Toby swipe his tongue over my bottom lip. Slowly I opened my mouth, but his over eager tongue forced my lips open before a moment had passed, and suddenly he was violating my mouth, his tongue running itself over my teeth, my palate, my own tongue…

Toby groaned when I sucked gently, and then I felt his hands leave my head and travel down, grabbing me by the thighs and hoisting me up, only to press my back to the tree again so that he could keep me there. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his hips, which caused a jolt of arousal so potent it was almost painful to travel through my body, effectively waking me up from whatever dreamland I’d been in.

  


##### ~Toby~

“T-toby,” Milo moaned into my mouth when I hoisted him up. “S-stop.”

Again, I didn’t listen to him, but regretted it when his hands, which were tangled in my hair, tightened their grip and his claws came out to play.

“Ow,” I whimpered, pulling away from him immediately, although I wasn’t putting him down anytime soon.

“I’m sorry, I… please, put me down,” he pleaded in a strained and ragged whisper that made the fur on my neck and shoulders rise in arousal.

The thought of letting him down now was beyond horrific to my lust-addled mind, so the only response I gave was to push my face into the crook of his neck, taking a deep breath of his scent, marvelling at how much better the real thing was compared to the residue left on the towel.

“Toby,” he said, sounding like he was trying to be tough but failing and ending up pleading. “Please. Leave me be.”

“Never again,” I growled. “I’m not letting you go again. You’ll just run away from me again.”

Milo swallowed, I could feel his Adam’s apple bobbing against my temple.

“T-Toby, I can’t…” his voice broke and he stopped, trying to rally his thoughts.

I was suddenly very aware of how he was shaking against me, and his limp grip. I gently let him down, but didn’t move away. My instincts were telling me that now was the time to hold onto him, because now he was really freaking out.

“Hey, hey, hey,” I whispered. “What’s wrong?”

But he just shook his head.

I wanted to find out more, I wanted to know what was making him react so badly, but I knew that anything more was going to send him into cardiac arrest or something.

“OK, we need to get you home,” I told him.

Milo didn’t protest. He didn’t even respond when I pulled away from him. Instead, he just stood against the tree, hunched over with the most miserable expression I’d ever seen. I mentally kicked myself. This was _not_ supposed to be the way he reacted to the first time I kissed him. I mean, I wasn’t exactly expecting him to be jumping for joy, but to be outright miserable about it…

Neither of us said anything while we put on our shoes and socks. Milo seemed to be concentrating very hard on staying silent, but I heard his ragged breathing and smelled his scent all the same. It confused me no end. He was obviously very into me and what we’d just done, but he seemed to be trying to convince himself of the opposite. The uncertainty in his scent washed over me, making me want nothing more than to tell him that it was OK, that he didn’t need to worry. It was hard to convince my caring, eager-to-please Inu side to leave him alone in his distress. I was definitely going to have to become more adept at caring for a Neko if I hoped to have any kind of chance at convincing Milo to even like me.

The walk back to his place was long and arduous, but it did serve the purpose of calming him a little. I was glad of the fact that I could hear his breathing return to normal.

When we eventually got back to his place Milo’s little sister was out of the door before we’d even got halfway up the garden path.

“Milo!” she exclaimed worriedly, pulling him into a tight hug. He returned it weakly, but I could see his mind was elsewhere. “My god, are you alright?” his sister fussed, pushing him this way and that to check for any injuries.

“’M fine,” he mumbled.

She narrowed her eyes at him, not believing him for a second, before apparently dismissing it for the moment. Then she turned to me and threw her arms around my neck in a very unexpected hug.

“Thank you for bringing him back, Toby,” she said very quietly, clinging to me tightly. I realised with a start that she really had been extremely worried about Milo, and hoping to settle her mind, I squeezed her back.

“No problem,” I mumbled.

Pulling back, Milo’s sister glared at him, but there was little actual malice in the look. “Milo, how could you just run off like that?” she questioned him worriedly.

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but I could have sworn Milo had thrown me a cursory glance before averting his eyes. “I don’t know,” he grumbled lamely.

His little sister huffed. “You’re going to have to do better than that sooner or later.”

“I’d really prefer later, Abby,” he grumbled. So that was her name.

Abby sighed but turned to me instead of harrowing Milo about it. “Toby, what are you going to do now? It’s quite late,” she chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, glancing at Milo. “Would you like to spend the night? I’m afraid all we have is a couch, but it’s pretty comfortable, and better than walking all the way to yours at this time.”

I mulled it over. I had no idea what time it was, but I agreed that staying here was definitely preferable to walking on my own back to my place, which wasn’t exactly in the best part of town.

“You’re sure it’s OK if I stay?” I asked uncertainly, pretending not to notice the way Milo’s ears snapped upright at that.

“Yeah, sure,” Abby was saying.

“That’s great, thank you, Abby,” I said with a smile which she returned.

“Then let’s get inside. I’ll get you some sheets while Milo shows you where to find some food and something to drink.”

“Um,” I started to say, but Abby shook her head.

“It’ll also give him an opportunity to apologize for what he’s put you through,” she said firmly in Milo’s direction. I got the feeling that she was hinting at more than just tonight’s events.

Milo scowled at the ground, but didn’t protest when Abby led us inside and disappeared up the stairs to find the sheets.

“This way,” he mumbled and led me through a door to our left. On the other side of it was an open plan living, dining and family room combined, separated from the kitchen by a low wall and counter. Not much had changed since I’d last been here in middle school.

“Want anything?” Milo asked me, heading for the fridge.

“Just water’s good.”

There was a long and awkward silence while Milo got the drinks. By the time Abby came back downstairs I was squirming awkwardly by the counter. She sighed audibly when she saw the two of us cowering in opposite corners of the room, but didn’t say anything.

“Milo, I need your help finding the pillows,” she said. I was about to protest against her going to all the effort when she cut me off with a sharp look and said, “Don’t even think about it.”

I shut my mouth quickly.

“Mom always puts them in the passage cupboard,” Milo said.

“I’ve checked there,” Abby huffed impatiently. “Look, just come and help me, OK?”

Milo grumbled something inaudible, but got up and followed his younger sister out of the room. My ears flicked as I could make out the sound of Abby’s voice. I seriously doubted she’d asked him to go help her upstairs alone for the reason she’d given, but I tried not to think about it. Eavesdropping wasn’t very nice, anyway.

  


##### ~Milo~

Just as I had expected, the moment we left the kitchen area Abby started.

“Milo, you have to tell him,” she said with a sigh.

“What do you mean?” I asked grumpily even though I already knew. I didn’t even ask how she knew, but I didn’t really care. All that was important was that someone had seen through my disguise, and I was inwardly panicking about that. How many others besides Abby had managed?

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said sharply. “I’ve had enough of this shit. You have to tell him and get it over with.”

I glared at her. “I can’t. Not here, and not with people like Heath living here.”

“So what, you’re going to wait until every homophobe has up and died?” Abby snapped. She softened immediately after though and when she turned to me when we reached the target cupboard, her expression was sympathetic. “Look, I know you don’t want to, that it’s scary, but you have to understand that those people who matter won’t stop loving you for something like that. Even if you tell Toby and he doesn’t like it though, it won’t make that much of a difference, will it? That’s what you’ve been trying to guard yourself against anyway, isn’t it?”

“What the hell do you mean?” I snapped.

“You’ve been trying to accustom yourself to him not liking you, so that if it ever comes out that you do then you’ll be used to it. But Milo…” Her use of my actual name was bugging me. “You don’t understand that there’s actually a good chance that Toby likes you back. But whether he does or not, you’ll only be hurting yourself more the longer you keep this up.”

I wanted to hate her for how right she was, for how she was so nosy and seemed to think she knew so much about my situation, but her tone was gentle, and made it so I couldn’t fight her when she pulled me into a comforting hug. I buried my face in her shoulder and took a few deep breaths, calming myself a little more before reluctantly nodding into her.

“I’ll try to do it,” I whispered.

She was smiling slightly when she pulling away. “Everything’s going to work out. I promise, dipstick.”

I smiled back at the use of the name, and then she handed me a pillow and a pillow case and disappeared into her room.

Taking a deep breath and preparing myself for yet another night with little to no sleep, I started the slow descent to madness, and the stairs too.

I paused a little in surprise when I got downstairs. Toby had gotten busy in our absence, covering the couch with a bedsheet and clearing away anything breakable off the coffee table. He was currently struggling with duvet cover, because despite the fact that it was still warm outside, inside the house it was cooler.

“Need some help?” I asked, trying my utmost to keep my voice neutral. Toby jumped a little as if I’d scared him, but shook his head.

“Iff OK,” he managed to mumble around the corner he had gripped in his teeth.

I couldn’t help myself. I smiled quietly, getting to work on stuffing the pillow into the case.

“There,” I said once both of us were finished. “Look good enough?”

Toby surveyed the messy job we’d done critically. “I think it’s good,” he said with a decisive nod, as if he was judging some kind of beauty contest. He cracked a grin at me, and I managed a weak smile in return. Fuck, where had mean and grumpy Toby disappeared to? I really didn’t like this new version that could make me smile even in my current state.

“Are you hungry?” I asked, slipping into the kitchen as he followed me.

  


##### ~Toby~

“Sure. What’ve you got?”

“Crackers, cheese, Nutrigrain, corn flakes… could also make some toast if you wanted, or there’re leftovers in the fridge. Lasagne, I think.”

“Cheese and crackers sounds like plenty,” I said, resting my hips against the counter. I watched as Milo busied himself finding plates and cutlery. He seemed a lot more at ease than he had before his sister had asked him to ‘help’ her, but I could tell something was still bothering him.

However, that only encouraged me to watch him more carefully, trying to identify what was bugging him while getting a very welcome eyeful of his smooth movements and slender body. Unfortunately for me, he had slipped on his shirt from before, but it wasn’t all bad. The damp fabric clung to his frame, highlighting his sharp shoulders and his narrow waist.

I looked away quickly when he turned to me and asked, “Do you like guacamole?”

“Only homemade,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “The store bought stuff is just green gunk.”

“Then you’re in luck.” He dipped into the fridge and emerged with a bowl of some delicious looking guacamole.

“Wow, you really make it?” I asked, impressed. Not a lot of people bothered.

“We have an avo tree in the back,” Milo said with a shrug. “We need something to do with them, and raw avos only go so far before becoming disgusting.”

“True, true,” I said.

He came over and deposited a heap of guac, sundried tomato and basil pesto next to the plates and knives already there.

He turned back to the kitchen, tapping a finger against his bottom lip with a thoughtful look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Oh, nothing, it’s just that we recently cleaned out and put everything in different places, so I’m trying to remember where the crackers went,” he said with an embarrassed smile.

I laughed. “OK, then. I was wondering if anything was missing here.”

He pondered for another moment before standing up and checking in a few cupboards. It took him three tries before he finally exclaimed in triumph.

“Got them,” he said, reaching up happily with the hand that wasn’t holding the cupboard door open.

  


##### ~Milo~

Sharp pain shot through my shoulder when I reached up to grab the packet of crackers on the top shelf, and I winced horribly. I pulled the arm back with an incredibly embarrassing little cry and instinctively cradled it against my chest.

Over by the cupboard, Toby sat bolt upright at the noise.

“Milo, are you OK?” he asked, rushing over when he saw my posture.

I pulled away from his surprisingly gentle fingers when he began to probe my shoulder, looking for anything obviously wrong with it.

“F-fine,” I managed, sounding a lot less than fine.

Toby raised an eyebrow at me. “You know, a human might get away with that,” he told me. “But your ears don’t lie.”

Automatically my ears flattened against my head in self-awareness. They had indeed been pinned back in a gesture of pain, while my tail twitched continuously in discomfort.

“Also, you’re just a really bad liar in general,” Toby added from above me.

I looked up at him indignantly. “Am not.”

He chuckled. “Right. Now, let me get a look at that arm.”

I was about to refuse him, because the idea of Toby touching me was all too good to be true, but the genuine look of worry on his face gave me pause.

I turned my head away almost sulkily and begrudgingly didn’t move when he reached out again.

My sharp intake of breath when his fingers hit a particularly sore spot had his ears twitching forward in the most adorable— er, most concerned way. His frown made a crease in the middle of his forehead, something that I wasn’t used to seeing on his normally care-free face.

“It doesn’t feel bad, but you really should get it looked at,” he said in the end. “It’s probably going to bruise up really badly, judging by how hard Heath hit you.”

Hesitantly I rolled the shoulder. It was definitely sore enough to have bruised badly. A little worried about it despite myself, I reached for the bottom of my shirt. Just before I pulled it over my head, I paused and glanced over at Toby. He looked away and… blushed?

“You should check it out,” he mumbled, retreating to his side of the kitchen to give me space.

I slid out of the shirt with a small gasp of pain as I raised my sore arm, and dropped the thing to the counter. Before I could even think to look, I heard Toby’s own gasp.

“ _Shit_ ,” he said, getting up as if to come take a closer look, but hesitating.

I almost didn’t want to look, but Toby’s reaction told me that I probably should. Glancing down, I could just see the beginnings of a black bruise the size of my outstretched hand on the front of my chest.

“Crap, that hurts even more now that I know about it,” I swore.

“Do you have any painkillers? And maybe some bruise and sprain ointment?” Toby asked.

“Yeah, somewhere,” I said distractedly, somehow oddly drawn to finger the bruise, prodding at it to see just how much it hurt.

“Don’t touch it,” Toby said, snatching my hand away from my chest. I looked up in surprise to see that he’d appeared beside me. He didn’t relinquish his grip on my offending wrist. “Where are those meds?”

“In my parents’ room someplace,” I said. “I’ll have to go find them.”

“Need any help?” Toby asked.

“What? No, it’s just a few bottles of medicine,” I said with a frown.

“But you shouldn’t be lifting that arm. Are they high up?”

I frowned in resignation. “Yeah, they are.”

“Then just tell me where they are and I’ll get them for you,” Toby insisted.

“I can use my other arm, you know,” I said, scowl persisting.

Toby seemed to colour a little again. “Oh, right.”

I sighed. “But fine, if you’re that worried about it, come along.”

Together we trudged up the stairs and down the landing, doing our best to keep quiet for Abby’s sake. Once in my parents’ room we quickly got the stuff and then high-tailed it out of there to the bathroom.

The awkward silence blanketed us as soon as we were there. Toby leaned against the wall opposite the door in the passage while I headed straight to the sink. While I was filling a glass with water to swallow the pills down, I looked up and happened to catch Toby frowning at my shoulder in concern. I suddenly got the feeling like I needed to say something about what he’d done this evening.

“Um, thank you,” I said awkwardly. “For… for tonight.”

Toby looked up in surprise, obviously not expecting anything of the sort coming from me. “It’s no problem,” he responded lightly.

“No, really, thanks,” I said, turning to him while I threw back the pills. “It was you who pulled Heath off me in the first place, wasn’t it?”

He nodded.

“And then you still came to find me, presumably after you’d had your fight with Heath and gotten hit a good couple of times,” I added to the list. I didn’t add to the list the fact that he’d also thrown just about all of my life’s work into the trash by kissing me. “It’s really no problem, Milo,” he said, scratching at his neck in embarrassment. “I’m just happy to help.”

My ears flicked forward and back a few times. I wasn’t sure whether now was the best time to point out that that hadn’t quite been the case in the last few years. That would just get me a sharp rebuke and probably something along the lines of "you started it".

So instead I just nodded and turned back to the mirror. The bruise was already looking worse.

“This is gonna be sore as all fuck in the morning, isn’t it?” I asked Toby sort of rhetorically.

“Yeah, I bet it is,” he answered anyway.

“Whelp, better get this over with then,” I said, squeezing a bit of the ointment onto the affected area before starting to rub it in.

“ _Shit_.” That stung like crazy. Suddenly Toby’s hand closed around my wrist again. What was it with this guy and my wrists?

“You OK?” Toby asked in consternation. “You really don’t have to press that hard.”

Before I could stop myself, I was snapping, “Fine, if you think you can do better, then do better.”

Inwardly I was cursing myself, but I never backed down from a challenge, and so I held the tube of ointment out to him and turned so that he had direct access to my shoulder. I had to admit it was amusing to watch his eyebrows shoot up into his fringe.

“Um, OK,” he said slowly.

  


##### ~Toby~

My face burning up, I took the tube from Milo and watched as he squirmed onto the countertop so that he was a little taller, allowing for better access to his shoulder.

Watching him carefully for any sign that this was some kind of bait or something, I stepped closer and applied some more ointment to the bruise and then lifted a hand to start working it into his skin. His initial tenseness was definitely not lost on me, but neither was his relaxation after a few seconds. Nor was his glowing red face.

Tenderly, because I knew first-hand how much this sort of bruise hurt, I rubbed my fingers in circles on his shoulder, keeping my eyes stoically on the spot of discoloured skin directly in front of me. I refused to look away, to risk my eyes darting to his abdomen, his waist, crotch or lips, which were disturbingly close to my face.

After a while I dared to glance up at the mirror, and from the corner of my eye I saw with a start that Milo was watching the expression on my face with a soft, almost sad look. It was the most gentle I’d ever seen his features, and it almost gave me pause. Quickly I glanced down before he could notice my staring.

Another minute and the ointment was almost all gone, but I didn’t want it to be. I wanted to continue touching him, continue giving him comfort, but I was unsure. I glanced up and saw with a start that now he had his eyes closed with a blissful look on his face, and that’s when his scent hit me. He was at peace. He was happy and completely comfortable. At least for the moment.

So I did a super stupid thing.

I leaned in a little more, just enough that my breath could play across his neck, and his mine. I felt him jerk ever so slightly as his eyes no doubt snapped open in surprise. I waited for him to pull away, to push me away, but the action never came.

Emboldened by the lack of rejection and his scent surrounding me, I leaned down slowly and laid a soft-as-a-breath-of-air kiss on Milo’s neck, below his ear. I could hear his breath hitch, and felt his arms stiffen, but still he did nothing to get me to stop. Without hindrance, I couldn’t help myself. The skin underneath my lips was so soft and tempting that I simply had to have more. Tentatively I extended my tongue past my lips, and felt Milo shiver at the contact. Feeling almost smug, I continued the action, kitten (or puppy?) licking a trail up Milo’s neck and to his ear.

The fingers of my right hand had long since stopped massaging the ointment into his shoulder, and were instead simply running all over his chest, accompanied by my left hand. I didn’t push, only touched gently, wanting only to familiarize myself with his body – its textures, softenesses and firmnesses, and its sweet spots.

I could feel the goose bumps that rose all over Milo’s skin when I touched it and relished in the effect I was having on the Neko. I finally reached the shell of his ear and, unable to carry on licking for fear of getting a mouthful of downy fur, I switched direction and continued along his jaw to find those sought-after lips. When I got to the corner of his lips, Milo shuddered again and pulled back ever so slightly, and I froze, not pressuring him into anything. I knew he was scared, and I couldn’t find it in me to chase him and make him feel like he was in a corner, no matter how much I wanted this.

I waited for a ten seconds before began to lose hope. He wasn’t responding to me at all any more, even though his shuddering breath was making my ear twitch. My fingers stopped in their tracks and slowly began to withdraw, my hands dropping down to rest in front of me as I withdrew, heart heavy.

“Toby, I… I don’t want…”

I took a look at him sadly, but noticed something.

“What did I tell you?” I asked quietly. “Your ears don’t lie.”

Milo blushed deeply and looked away in shame when he apparently realised the position of his ears – relaxed slightly forwards, showing interest as well as acceptance.

I lifted my hand to his face and turned it back to me, looking deep into his eyes. I wanted so badly to ask why he seemed so desperate to prove his obvious feelings for me wrong. But to be quite honest, if it was a choice between probing and freaking him out even further or convincing him that this was worth it, I knew which I was going to take.

“Good thing they don’t, or I might have had to stop prematurely,” I breathed, leaning forwards until my lips were but a hair’s breadth from his. “Milo, please. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

Those words seemed to have a profound effect on him, as he appeared to mull them over, looking me in the eye, deadly serious, the entire time. And then he tilted his head, closed the gap and his lips were on mine.

The whole world shrank down to the two of us. Just us in his bathroom, kissing under the fluorescent lights. Even though my mind was going into complete overdrive (I was worried my motherboard was going to get fried if I kept this up) I managed to register that this kiss was very different to the previous one. This one was slow and gentle, true to Milo’s nervousness.

But I quickly realised I wanted more. I slowly tilted my head and allowed my tongue to venture forward, probing gently at his bottom lip. His mouth opened without protest and I began to explore the offered cavity, being sure to stick to the slow and gentle agenda, although it was hard to when I heard the breathy, barely-there sound he let slip.

Milo’s healthy arm slowly lifted and his hand slid up my chest to hesitantly, nervously wrap around my neck, pulling me a closer, slowly at first but then more forcefully, moaning lightly as I ran my own hands around his waist and shoulders, reciprocating the action.

After that, the kiss started to slip away from slow and gentle and towards heated and sloppy. Milo’s hands knotted themselves in my hair again (without the claws this time, thank goodness) and he began to knead his knuckles in my hair. As I moaned at the tugging sensation, I recognised the gesture as a Neko gesture of being contented, and the idea gave me a warm feeling in my chest. We kissed until neither of us had air left in our lungs, and even after we broke apart neither of us retreated. I leaned my forehead against him, allowing our breaths to mingle between us.

“Toby…” his voice was breathless and ragged, and something about it turned my thoughts to sludge while at the same time made my ears prick up attentively. “What’s going on here? I don’t understand.”

I decided to answer that honestly. “I think I just kissed the guy I haven’t been able to get my mind off for the last 5 years.”

“Wh-what?”

“Milo, why’d you do it? In middle school, why’d you start pushing me away?”

“T-Toby, I don’t… I don’t know if I…” he trailed off and sighed defeatedly at the pleading look I gave him. “I got scared,” he whispered, gaze dropping in shame. “After Michael and DJ got… what happened to them frightened me, and when I realised that I felt the same way they did, I couldn’t handle it, especially when…” I watched as he seemed to struggle with the words. Eventually he mewled adorably in frustration and brought his fists up to rub at his eyes. “Heath got to me, once,” he confessed.

“What?” I asked, half praying for Heath’s sake that I’d heard him wrong, half hoping I’d heard right.

“He threatened me, called me a, a fag,” Milo sighed and slumped, as if he was more tired from admitting it than anything else.

I couldn’t stop myself. A deep, threatening growl tore itself out of my throat at the thought. Even back then, Heath had been huge, but Milo had been tiny. How _dare_ he pick on him like that!

Milo looked up at me in alarm at the noise. I hurried to stifle it and the furious look I knew was on my face when I saw the fear flash through his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I sputtered. “I didn’t mean to, I’m not angry at you—”

“So I suppose that settles it, then,” he said quietly.

“Huh?” I really seemed hung up on these intelligent noises tonight, didn’t I?

“I don’t suppose after tonight I could doubt that you’ve been hung up on me so pathetically for the last 5 years,” Milo said with a hint of what I recognised to be his defensive sarcasm and insults showing through. I’d long since realised that whenever he felt even the slightest insecure or overwhelmed he would jump to using sarcasm as a shield, to avoid showing his own feelings about the subject. That didn’t stop me from frowning at his jab though.

“Milo—”

He cut me off with a sharp, “God I’m such an idiot,” and then (much more effective, I have to say) he stopped me in my tracks with another mind-numbing kiss.

  


##### ~Milo~

“God I’m such an idiot.”

An idiot indeed. It’d been five years, _five_ , that I myself had been pathetically hung up on Toby, but doing nothing about it, and there I was finding out that he’d felt the same for me all along. On second thoughts, “idiot” doesn’t quite cover it.

Without further thought I did the only thing that seemed natural at that point. I leaned forward and grabbed handfuls of Toby’s shirt, pulled him to me and crashed my lips to his. I tried to ignore the adorable yelp that burst out of his mouth just in time for me to swallow it, but I couldn’t exactly help the smirk that spread across my lips at the thought of having unsettled him so badly. After the initial shock of my actions had worn off, Toby groaned deeply and then suddenly I was engulfed in his arms as they wrapped around my shoulders and back, holding me close to him.

His tongue – already startlingly familiar after such a short time – sought entrance to my own mouth. I opened graciously, but refused to let him dominate the kiss like he had on the two occasions beforehand. This time I fought him tooth and nail (or rather, tooth and tongue) for the right to dominate, but all this earned me was a low growl and a sharp nip on my bottom lip. It wasn’t hard enough to really hurt or do any damage, but it elicited a surprised gasp from me and allowed Toby to take over control of the kiss with a satisfied hum. And there was no doubt that his wish for control was arousing me no end.

Before long I was frowning, annoyed with the shirt that Toby was still stoically wearing, stopping me from touching his skin, feeling his heat and closeness as acutely as what my body was craving. I made him aware of this by dropping my hands and tugging at the hem of his shirt. I was going for a cool suggestive aura, but Toby very nearly snickered when it came off as plaintive, almost begging.

Regardless of what he thought, he didn’t say a word as he leant back from me just long enough to throw the shirt off and return his lips to mine. My hands snapped up to his chest, eager to feel the skin, the fur, to get to know. My fingertips brushed over his left nipple and Toby stiffened, teeth clenched as he visibly tried to hold back a sound of pleasure.

The knowledge of the ‘power’ I had over him now made me smirk a little. I pulled away from his lips and settled instead on his jaw, nipping and suckling from the side of his face to his ear, down his neck. Toby gasped when my sharp teeth grazed his skin, and his hands flew to my thighs as if looking for some way of holding himself up. Without removing my lips from his skin, I marvelled at the effect I was having on him. It was definitely appealing to my arrogant Neko side, the way he was completely unravelling just under the effect of my ministrations.

I was still preening when suddenly his hands left my thighs and reached for my own.

“Milo,” his husky, strained voice went straight down my gut to my groin. “We need to, we need to talk about… this.” Leaning forward, I rested my head on his shoulder and released a shaking breath. I shuddered when his arms squeezed around me, but nodded. I couldn’t run now, not after everything that’d happened and anything that might happen now (the latter was a lot more interesting to my horny mind at that time).

“O… OK,” I whispered, knowing that his ears could easily pick up the words.

  


##### ~Toby~

I helped Milo hop down from the counter and we put away the medicinal stuff in silence before heading downstairs, where we would be able to talk without disturbing Abby. I settled on the couch, throwing the blankets out of the way to leave space for Milo, but instead of joining me he elected to sit down on the coffee table across from me, scratching nervously at the back of his right hand with his left.

I wanted so badly to just reach out, cross the 40cm gap between our bodies and take his hands in mine, still the motions and comfort him, but a part of my mind told me he was scared enough as it was, and didn’t need me pushing him any more.

When the silence dragged on, I decided I needed to at least give the conversation a little nudge, or else nothing was going to happen.

“Milo,” I said gently. “I… what… can you tell me what’s wrong?”

His ears drooped as he thought hard about what to say. His mouth opened, fumbled with the words, and closed again several times before he finally managed to whisper, “Tell me what you want from me.”

I wondered briefly if he was trying to give himself time to think, or just blatantly trying to avoid the question, but I decided to go along with it for the moment. Unable to look at him, I directed my gaze to my hands, which were entwined and gripping each other tightly, I swallowed and tried to find words for it.

“I want to help you, Milo,” I confessed. “I want to protect you and be with you, and I want to…” I paused before I could choke up, and took a steadying breath. “I want the chance to fall in love with you,” I whispered, and almost _felt_ it when his head and ears snapped up. I refused to look at his expression, afraid of what I’d find there. “But… but if that’s not what you want, then I want to be your friend. I just… I just want to help,” I finished plaintively.

I pretended that his long silence wasn’t hurting me, wasn’t making me think of the millions of ways this situation could go to shit, but it was eating me up inside and I didn’t think I was hiding it very well.

After a while of dead silence, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“At least say something,” I muttered, pulling back and curling into myself.

“I… Toby, are you sure? You know where we are, you know what the people here are like.”

My heart leapt at the realisation that he hadn’t denied me anything yet. “I’m sure, Milo. I’m dead set. But I won’t do anything that you don’t want to.”

“Toby I… I don’t know how to tell you,” Milo’s voice trailed off into a sob. “I just… it’s been so long, and I couldn’t… I just couldn’t stop, and then when Heath—” he was crying openly now, and this time I couldn’t help myself, so I reached out and drew him into my lap, surprised when he came willingly. He curled up and burrowed into my chest, and I held him tightly.

“Sh, sh, it’s OK,” I whispered into his hair. “You’ll figure it out, Milo, I know you will, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way, if you’ll have me.”

My chest ached when nothing I said seemed to be having an effect, but I continued to murmur random words of comfort to him, and eventually he quietened against my chest, allowing me to rock him back and forth gently.

By that time my lack of sleep had caught up to me, and I was exhausted, but my mind was turning so fast that I didn’t feel capable of sleep.

Milo sat up after a while, rubbing at his eyes and taking a shuddering breath to steady himself. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise, Milo,” I whispered back, looking him in the eye and trying to convey to him just how earnest I was.

  


##### ~Milo~

I felt my breath stutter to a halt at the open honesty in Toby’s liquid brown eyes. If my mind had been racing before now, it was now a veritable freeze-frame. Nothing going anywhere, nothing happening, nothing registering except for Toby and his honesty.

And the feeling terrified me. The feeling that Toby could be so unguardedly open, especially around _me_ , scared me.

I leaned forward and tucked my head into his shoulder to escape his eyes.

This time he said nothing, instead leaning back and taking me with me, surrounding me in his scent and his warmth, and for what felt like the first time I felt truly _safe_ , and I found myself wondering, if this was what it felt like to have Toby there, to be around him, then maybe… maybe whatever came out of this would be worth it. No, forget it. It _was_ worth it.

Toby’s breath hitched and his arms tightened around me when I hesitantly pressed my lips to his shoulder where his collar had ridden down to expose his skin. But he didn’t stop me, and I was glad.

So I repeated the action, and after a few times I opened my lips and reached out my tongue to taste. The most noticeable flavour was chlorine, but there were undertones of things that were just _Toby_. People’s scents are hard to describe with words because they don’t actually smell like spices or anything like that, but if I had to try, I’d say breathing in Toby’s scent was something like sitting around a campfire. It was immediately warm and mellow, but with the hint of cool adventure around the edges, just like a darkened forest ready to be explored.

I breathed him in, and felt him do the same to me, his breath warm huffs on my shoulder. The feeling spurred me on to place the next kiss higher, and the next one after that. I felt it when he trembled gently under a particular one, and spent a few seconds gently peppering that area with kisses, but after his second, more violent tremble, I sat up slowly to look him in the eye.

My position in his lap meant that we were more or less level, me being a little taller, so it made it easier to see the expressions flitting through his eyes. I kept a close watch on those as I leaned forward slowly, and stopped just before our faces were touching.

“Toby?” I breathed against his lips, watching as his eyes snapped to mine again.

“Yeah?”

“I think I want a chance, too,” I whispered. “To… to fall in love with you.”

I watched as Toby’s eyes closed and he absorbed that, and I waited with bated breath. I didn’t have to wait long before Toby tilted his head and we met in the middle of the gap.

The kiss was gentle but insistent, far from anything we’d shared up until then, but there was a pressure behind it that made my head spin well beyond the few seconds that it took up. We separated for only a moment before Toby was leaning back in, pressing our lips together again while simultaneously sitting up.

Unwilling to allow the gap between us due to our difference in height to lengthen, I shifted until I was straddling his lap, knees on either side of his thighs. In this position I was still only a little taller than him, but for once it didn’t bother me in the slightest as I barely had to move to feel his lips on mine again.

With the shift in position also came a shift in the mood, and I gasped as I felt Toby’s teeth close over my lower lip, tugging a little as he pulled away, only to lean back in again and again and again. His hands quickly wandered from my back all over my sides and my hips, leaving scorching trails wherever they touched bare skin where my shirt had ridden up, drawing gentle moans from me that sounded far too loud and embarrassing to my ears. I returned the gesture, lifting one arm to grip his hair and the other slipping under his shirt to find his chest and getting my own noise in turn.

I could feel my tail subconsciously swishing and curling behind me, and my ears were swivelling to match the storm of emotions inside me, but Toby seemed to be radiating calming control even in this situation. His ear twitched when my fingers brushed against it, but his tail was still and his movements controlled despite being very eager. For some reason the calmness rubbed me the wrong way – I needed to get rid of it; I felt like it stood between him and me somehow, as tangible as the shirts between our chests.

But as the shirts could – and did – come off, so could the calmness be made to disappear.

I shuddered and bit back a moan when Toby’s fingers found my left nipple, arching my back so that our naked chests met, his hand behind my back helping with that. When he rolled it between his fingers I gave a strangled mewl that he swallowed with another kiss.

“You’re so beautiful, Milo,” he whispered against my jaw as he littered the underside with kisses.

“D-don’t say that,” I pleaded as my face lit up red and my hands tightened on his shoulders.

“But you are,” Toby was saying insistently. “And I wish that I could have told you before now.”

This caused me pause as a flash of potent guilt made itself known. Toby must have felt the shift in my demeanour because he quickly mumbled, “But now I get to make that up, so let me tell you again: you’re beautiful, Milo, and I want to kiss every inch of you and make you smell like me so that Heath will never come near you again even when I’m not around to protect you, which I wish I could be all the time.”

If my face had been red before, now it was positively _glowing_. But underneath that embarrassment came a warm feeling at the idea of someone – of _Toby_ – being there for me, protecting me and loving me. However, my mind decided to fixate on the _smelling like him_ part of the confession for now, and suddenly the warm feeling flushed hot and melted down through my body to my lower half.

I groaned and dipped my head to hide in his neck, unable to stand the embarrassment or the arousal.

I felt Toby shift under me and draw in a breath. “Milo? Are you…? It’s OK, I’ll stop.”

  


##### ~Toby~

I felt a flash of uncertainty when Milo brushed me off to hide in my chest, even though his groan sent stabs of electricity down to my groin. “It’s OK, I’ll stop,” I offered in a desperate attempt to return to the mood of before.

But Milo cut me off with a whisper. “I don’t…” he made a noise of frustration, growling in a high-pitched tone in the back of his throat. “It feels weird, Toby,” he said. “Make it so it doesn’t feel weird.”

I frowned in confusion. “What?”

“I don’t want it to feel weird when you tell me those things,” he said as he sat back and frowned seriously at me, his hands dropping to sit idly between us.

I finally smiled in understanding and took his hands in mine. “Then I’ll tell you until it stops feeling weird,” I assured him, looking into his deep black eyes. “And I won’t stop. Not ever.”

He blushed happily, but we both were startled by the sudden deep rumbling purr that erupted from his chest at that. Milo was so shocked he stopped dead not a second after starting, and the look on his face coupled with his ears, which were pinned stiffly upright in surprise, made me incapable of keeping the laugh from bubbling out of me.

His ears flicked forwards at the sound, and for a moment he looked mildly surprised, but then he tilted his head up, smiled wide and _purred_ , as if the sound and feeling were freeing, as if it was a foreign thing and he liked it, and was proud of it.

“God, you’re adorable,” I said, leaning forward to latch onto the caramel column of his neck as my hands roamed over his back and hips. I could feel the vibrations of his purring through his skin, and I groaned at the feeling. I could feel myself hardening, and I thought fleetingly that it would scare him off, but I couldn’t help the pleased rumble that overtook me as I brought my teeth to his muscle.

The answering gasp broke off the purring, and also stopped all rational thoughts entering my mind.

“T-Toby—” he arched against me again, and this time I felt him against me and I groaned again.

I reached a hand down to run it over his stomach, feeling the muscle twitch back sensitively, and found his jeans’ button.

“Is this too fast?” I asked breathlessly as his breath hitched.

“No,” he said after a moment. “No it isn’t.”

“Tell me if you want me to stop. I—”

“Toby,” he growled, and I went rigid at the way his voice dropped commandingly. “Do it. I’m not gonna break under your fingers.”

I found myself smirking at that. “Shall we see about that?” I only half teased, moving my other hand between us to lightly run my nails over his clothed bulge.

“Please,” he breathed and crashed his lips to mine again, his hands finding my neck and shoulders to hold me in place, licking into my mouth as soon as I opened it.

I groaned into the kiss as I felt him grind down onto me even as I fumbled his pants open. I slid my hand into his boxers hurriedly, and closed my hand over his hot shaft. Milo moaned long and low into my mouth, and I eagerly swallowed the sound.

When I pulled him free of the constraints of his boxers and jeans, Milo broke off the kiss to drop his head to my shoulder.

“Sh-shit, Toby,” he moaned as I stroked a thumb gently over the tip, feeling the beads of pre gathering there. Finding my mouth unoccupied, I latched instead onto his neck and shoulder, which were displayed beautifully before me. I felt him shudder again as I kissed and sucked at the skin.

Milo’s tail was thrashing wildly behind him, and had been for a while, but when it accidentally brushed against mine, laid out next to me on the couch, it chose to forego the thrashing and instead wrapped itself around mine tightly. The contact made me breath in a sharp breath, and my tail unconsciously swished gently, just enough to show my opinion on that without dislodging his.

Gently running my thumb over the underside of his member, I took him into my hand fully and squeezed, making him moan and buck his hips into my hand. I let him set the pace, languidly squeezing through his faster and more urgent thrusts, trying to avoid letting our skin drag together too much.

It didn’t take long, but when he did start reaching his climax I knew by the way his fingers tightened on my shoulders, claws biting into my back.

“T-Toby, I’m going to—”

As answer I bit down on his neck with a growl, and a second later he tensed in my lap, back arching up as he mewled in a soft, strangled sort of way, spilling liquid heat over my hand.

I worked him slowly through his high, rubbing his back with my unoccupied hand as he relaxed slowly and slumped against me, breathing heavily.

“Well done,” I whispered to him, peppering his neck with kisses and licks.

I felt his huffy laughter against my collar bone. “I didn’t do anything,” he protested.

“You were perfect,” I told him with a smile.

He sat up and kissed me softly, hands reached up to cup my face between them. “Y-you were too,” he murmured hesitantly against my lips. I looked at him in surprise when he pulled back and when he smiled it was an embarrassed shadow of his trademark smirk. “I can’t let you do all the talking,” he told me. My breath hitched as I felt fingertips ghosting down my front. “Just like I can’t let you do all the heavy lifting.”

I stopped his hand with my own when it reached my waistband, looking at him intently. “Milo, you don’t have to—”

“But I want to,” he cut me off, saying it in a firm, finalising tone.

After a moment of thought and searching his face for anything that denied what his words said, I nodded and let his hand go, allowing him to open my own jeans and reach in.

I jolted when his smaller hand found my rock-hard member, my head fall back as he pulled me out. Milo took this opportunity to bring his lips to my own neck and throat, but he was much more direct than I had been, using his teeth straight off the bat to nip and nibble at the flesh. The feeling of those small, sharp teeth teasing at my skin, scraping against it between hot open-mouthed kisses caused me to moan and buck up into his hand.

  


##### ~Milo~

“M-Milo,” Toby groaned as I began stroking him, gliding my hand – slightly slick with my own cum (an idea that I thought vaguely should probably disgust me) – all over his dick. Very quickly I found myself cursing my small hands. Toby was maybe a little larger than average size, and I thought smaller hands might make it harder to please him. However, Toby’s enthusiastic moans and growls at least managed to set my mind at ease regarding that.

Between kissing his neck and chest, I watched with great delight as Toby unravelled under my ministrations. That calm that I had felt separating us before was completely gone, and he was practically writhing underneath me as I brought him closer to his climax.

But apparently it wasn’t enough, because after a while Toby groaned and said, “Milo, faster, please. I can’t—”

“Sh,” I breathed against his ear, picking up the pace of my hand. “I’m sorry, I got distracted by how beautiful you look under me like this.” I almost stopped all movement of my hand after hearing myself say that. I had no idea where it came from, and was embarrassed to all hell, but Toby groaned and said, “Like what, Milo?”

I blushed harder, feeling my face reach what felt like boiling point. He didn’t really expect me to… did he?

“L-like this,” I stuttered. “S-sweaty, messy,” I tried to think up words to describe what I was seeing, and felt myself grow more confident as each seemed to bring him closer to his orgasm. “Needy,” I murmured, nosing at his ear. “Barely able to think straight. Totally under my control.”

Toby came with a gasp at exactly the same moment that I bit down gently on his ear, bucking up into my hand as his body tensed before slumping back into the couch cushions.

“Oh g-god, Milo,” he panted. “That was—”

“Amazing,” I supplied, dipping my head for another silky soft kiss. “Let me go get a cloth.”

Toby just nodded, his body boneless and pliant under my hands as I pushed myself to my feet. I wobbled precariously for a second before I got my balance and gathered a washcloth from the kitchen cupboard. Carefully I cleaned the two of us up, glad to see that there had been minimal spillage on the actual sheets over the couch, and then rinsed the cloth. I returned to the couch to find Toby had shed his jeans and was tucking himself under the blankets, eyes drooping tiredly. I was willing to bet he’d be out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow.

“Hey,” I whispered to him as I crossed over to the couch and squatted down next to his head. “Need anything else?”

He shook his head and mumbled a sleepy, “Nah, thanks.” I nodded and made to stand up, but stopped when I felt a hand grip my wrist.

Looking down in concern, I was met with a concerned frown. “Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked in confusion.

I paused, admittedly a little surprised at the offer, but then frowned down at the couch. “Not here. Come on, my bed’ll be better.”

“Right,” he breathed, throwing the blankets off and allowing me to lead him by the hand up the stairs and to my room. I was beyond glad to hear that Abby’s room was dead silent, and I couldn’t smell any trace of her besides the scents still left from when we were “looking for pillows for Toby.”

Toby and I spoke not a word between ourselves as we crossed my room without a glance to the interior chaos and tumbled straight to the bed. I was initially unsure of how this was going to be orchestrated, but Toby cleared that right up when he snaked his arms around my middle and pulled me into him so that I was curled up against his front.

Tucking my head under his chin, I felt his contented hum in his throat. I smiled, thinking how strange the night had turned out. Somehow, despite previously being violently opposed to having any contact at all with Toby, I was feeling nothing short of safe and protected, and as a result I felt my exhaustion from before begin to pull me down.

The last thing I remembered was Toby pressing his lips to my left ear, making it move tiredly, more a swivel than a twitch, before also beginning to snore beside me.

  


##### ~Toby~

Milo was mine. Milo was mine, and I was never going to let anyone hurt him ever again. Dipping my head I pressed my lips to his head, inhaling deeply. His scent – “cold,” but welcomingly so, like peppermint – washed over me, and the Inu in me preened quietly at the fact that it was mixed with my own, warmer scent. _Yes_. Heath would never again dare to come near Milo again, and all was right with the world.

I fell asleep to Milo’s rhythmic purring, broken by his inward breaths. The sound and vibrations were beyond soothing, and I remember feeling like the luckiest person in the world as his tail curled around my thigh and we both slipped away.

**Author's Note:**

> As I said before, all comments will be loved and cared for! (and also fangirled and squealed over for like a week or more)


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